green dots

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Waiting on Japan?

The tragedy is unspeakable. It's unthinkable. And yet, it seems so far away...that is, until they start talking about radioactive fallout HERE. In AMERICA. Suddenly, the 8,775 miles from Tokyo to Oklahoma city seems, well, closer. This post is in no way intended to solely focus on ME or US and not THEM, but the truth is, it's something worth thinking about. I think it reminds me of the September 11th attacks. It seemed SO close to home and so scary, yet so far away. Not that we here in Oklahoma are removed from tragedy. I remember well April 19th, 1995. It was a long time ago and with time, you tend to start loosing details in your mind. It was still a powerful, life changing event here. The Murrah bombing event in no way compares with the loss of life in Japan, but honestly, it's the closest thing I've ever experienced. Some people may laugh or scoff at the comparison, but it's the closest thing I've got.

When we start talking about radiation, honestly, it sort of freaks me out. I'm not saying I'm not trusting God. I also have enough sense to come in out of the rain and go to the cellar when a tornado is headed for my house. Is the threat real here in the United States? Well, everyone has their opinion on that. The truth is, we have 104 nuclear power plants here in the U.S. and four of those are in California. Of course we all know that it's "just a matter of time" until half the state falls into the Pacific according to lots of "experts." So, in reality, there could be a nuclear event much closer to home than Japan.

Most of you know that I've struggled with serious thyroid issues for nearly four years now. Everyone says "Oh thyroid! That's easy. All you have to do is take a pill!" Well, how nice for them. That's not been the case for me. The journey of hypothyroidism has been long and hard. Not just for me, but for my family as well. Coleman and Walker are already at a higher risk of having thyroid problems since I do. The thought of one more thing "pushing them over the edge" makes me want to cry. My husband has also sacrificed a LOT to help take care of me and Coleman and pick up the slack when I'm just too tired. The thought of them having to live in a perpetual thyroid hell makes me sick to think about it.

Some days are really not that bad. I have enough energy to get up, take care of Coleman and even take care of some things around the house. Then there are the majority of days that it's a struggle to get out of bed, to feed my son, or myself or to pick him up to change his diaper. I may make dinner, but have to sit down 4 or five times to rest in order to get it done. I sit on the couch the majority of the day, just trying to conserve energy to take care of Coleman. We watch movies, read lots of books and of course, he loves to watch me play Angry Birds. Ha ha ha! The point of me saying this isn't for anyone to feel sorry for me or pity me, but this certainly isn't the life I want for me, much less my children! I can usually gather enough energy to do the things I really HAVE to do and even fun things I WANT to do, but I often pay for it the next day by being extra exhausted.

I used to be a "go getter." Up early, work out, cleaning the house from top to bottom kind of person. I used to have a precious thing called energy. It's gone now. Is it gone forever? I pray that's not the case, but after four years of struggling and still barely getting by most days, it leaves me feeling hopeless a lot of the time. I'm much better now than I was when I was diagnosed. I HAVE come a long way from not being able to walk across the room or work for five weeks. I know God can choose to heal me from this. I also know that may not be His will for my life. Mark has said so many times, "God never wastes a hurt." That has rang true many times in my life. I've had some terrible hurt, but through that experience, I've been able to help someone else through theirs.

While we sit and think about the incredible loss of life in Japan, how their entire lives have been destroyed, uprooted, and tossed about, and their lives seem to have come to a screeching halt, life does still go on. Tonight my good friend Christy gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. She was blessed to have a home water birth. Sigh... :) Few things on this earth are as precious as new life. It makes me think of the verses in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 that say:

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

I pray that this entire thing stays under control and things don't get as bad as they predict they could. Just in case, we're prepared and ever lifting the people of Japan up in our prayers.

My friend Amber over at the eletelephant came up with a super cute link for donations to Japan,.

1 comment:

  1. I hate that I'm just now getting to read your blogs! Anywho... As someone who has a chronic illness I can relate. I too have energy problems and I completely feel for you sister. Something God has shown me that may help your sad heart: He chose me to have the disease. Me! What an honor. Out of all the people in the world to have something be trusted to them... Me! He wants me to go through this so that others see His glory. Wow! The other thing He has shown me is that I'm one of those needy kids He has. If it weren't for my disease I'd probably forget to pray so much. He knows I need a little reminder to keep leaning on Him, where for others that may not be a struggle. Our Heavenly bodies won't have these issues. Woowho!! :)